It's a #%&*$#.

Twice now I've laid dying in #%&*$# I'd have preferred to have taken place elsewhere. Only for the Grace of God or pure luck that I survived, probably pure luck. Both times I made peace with what I've done and who I am. I know that's direct, I understand it's rather cold, and I know it's a bit #%&*$#.

When you face death firsthand your outlook on life tends to change, everything else seems trivial. Everything. Right there in that moment.

All I can say is that you take this opportunity that 99.9% of people simply don't have - If possible, right any wrongs you might have committed against others. Be good to your fellow Man. Avoid selfishness. Love your family. It's not about Religious redemption, but how you and yours recall your legacy, and that's important mate. Never give up though. The Human Spirit is more powerful than people realize.

I do recall that I ran this song over and over in my head for some reason. It was quite relaxing.



Still, being a Catholic, I'll light a candle for ya and render a prayer.

God Bless you and your family.

Z

destructis, you are looking death in the eye more nobly than most deal with everyday life and an indeterminent passing. If a trip to the mountains of NC would be a useful distraction, I would be honored to host.

I spent more time reading this post from start to finish (didn't want to miss important notes) then I have posting a dozen climate change posts.

Murphy or someone here said its so important to live our lives not taking for granted the time that is given to us. That is so true. My sister-in-law who is 55 was diagnosed early this year with bulbar ALS. She has two children in their late teens. She recently had to quit her job and has applied for disability. She can no longer speak and dribbles saliva constantly out of the corner of her mouth. She uses her cell phone to text and a small board with marker to communicate. In a few days she will have a feeding tube inserted so she no longer chokes on her liquid food.

She can still drive her vehicle. Still has motor function in her arms and legs - but that will go to as the disease progresses. She doesn't know how long she has to live. But a quick internet search on bulbar ALS isn't too comforting.

She has a healthy heart. She has healthy lungs. But what she probably doesn't have much of - is time.

I hope that you find a good medical resolution to your heart/lung issues Destructis. And if that is not possible then I hope that you find the time you need to be at peace with your situation and to enjoy the time you have with your loved ones.

Don't really need to say much with this one. Shan can explain it better probably.

No real change since the last time. All of the results are consistent with the progression of the disease. They are probably covering their bases with the possible malignancies. Even if you had cancer starting up at this stage, your lungs would kill you first...

It isn't good, but not worse than expected. Sorry, Destructis.

No need to be sorry. It just is what it is.

I do have two questions.

1st: Under the Abdomen listing - "There is a metabolically active left adrenal gland nodule measuring 1.4 CM in size that has increased in size since the prior CT date 09/18/12 concerning for malignancy."

So does that mean I might have something else going on in my stomach/groin area that has nothing to do with the PF issues?

2nd: Under the Impression listing - "PET/CT shows intense metabolic activity in the area of fibrosis in the right upper lobe metabolically active right paratracheal and left adrenal gland nodule concerning for primary lung cancer with metastasis"

On the pet scans, I am assuming this is what lit up in the upper right of my chest last time. It sounds like it's a larger area that lit up this time.

I really wish I would have had this report before he called me on Friday. I could have been more prepared with questions. Now I am going to have to wait at least until next week when my normal doctor is back from vacation. Also based on your experience, since they are probably going to do another biopsy, do you think it will be more invasive since the bronchoscopy came back as a negative a year ago?

Destructis: 1/ it's a nodule on a gland on the kidney.

2/ still your fibrosis , but another nodule in the upper chest .


So they say that can be a lung cancer with some signs of spreading.

Now , as Shan Say, they "cover" themselves and cannot ignore even the slightest signs. You'll have further investigations with biopsy and blood analysis and only your pneumologist can actually speak to you of all that, I suppose.

Thank you. I tried googling some of the phrases, but came up with some strange stuff. Single words works better, but doesn't have enough information for me to figure it out. I appreciate your input.

I am not scared.



I do want to respond to this with my thoughts and how I have tried to life. We all make decisions based on the information that we have at the time. Hindsight is 20/20, so I don't have any regrets, nor do I need to make peace with myself or anyone else. You have to forgive yourself before anyone else can forgive you. As long as I know I made the best decision I could at the time, it's all good.

It doesn't mean that it's always the right choice, but no one always makes the right choice. It's part of being human.

It's impossible to tell with this data.

If you were in danger of having a malignancy on your adrenal gland, there would have to be a VAST array of tests you'd have to undergo. I've seen odd things happen in the kidney/bladder with respect to concentration and storage of the marker, so I'm never certain about it without the additional tests. Admittedly, I've worked with lung, liver, colon, brain, and breast cancers...so that isn't my area of expertise.

As for lung cancer metastasis... Look, it's possible. It just isn't probable. If you had a lung cancer of that magnitude as shown on the PET scan, your lungs and entire chest area should look like some strange Dalmatian had lost its spots inside of you. Your lung looked damaged from the last scan, and what that report says is pretty much the same thing. I'm sure you've googled the images; they're generally pretty accurate as to what to expect when the tumors start popping up in other places.

The lung damage is far more of a concern than any possible cancer popping up at this stage. The deterioration of your vascular system is also consistent with the lessened activity caused by...well...your inability to breathe normally.

Don't worry too much about the possible smoldering embers in the garage when the house is on fire and the kids are on the 2nd floor. Your lungs are in bad enough shape that I'm scratching my head as to how you can be walking/working at this stage...

This makes a lot of sense. I really need to sit down and talk to my Pulmonologist. I may not even get the biopsy if the PET scan is really bad. I am guessing it was since the report said "diffuse honeycombing in all 5 lobes". What are the parts that make up the 5 lobes? I always through there were four.

I know I am getting worse. Sunday night, I took the trash to the curb and started breathing really hard. It was two plastic trashcans with wheels and the curb is about 30 feet away.

I really do need to work, and focus on quality of life when I talk to him again. I hope he is totally upfront with me, but I am not sure if that will be the case. I have to make important life decisions.

Some days I get a little down about being sick. Today is one of those days.

No, the left lung has 2 lobes because the heart takes up some space. Right lung has 3.

If you can't exercise, watch pr0n. Seriously.

A friend of us lost their 4 year old children to cancer after 1 year of INTENSE creeping chemo+radiation which left her basically in pain the all time and nothing worked, at the end her immune system was DESTROYED and she died...

Chemo+radiation act like a fire to combat a fire: it MAY (in 1 digit %) kill the cancer but it also kill your immune system, if the cancer come back, you are basically DEFENSLESS.

My conclusion; find other solutions, avoid a therapy based on the destruction of the only thing that can SAVE your life, your immune system: clean your liver and other organ, take a drastic change in your diet and BOOST it instead of destroy it.

Chemo+radiation KILLS you but make Doctors and big corpo RICHER.

SHar82, as a survivor of stage 3 lung cancer (22 months and going!) who underwent 48 straight days of radiation and two full weeks of Chemotherapy, I cordially invite you to kiss my ass. Without both of those treatment types, I'd be dead.

I'm sorry for your friends' loss, but when it comes to cancer, you don't know what the hell you're talking about.

g.

I just hope for you it won't never come back, Gene... Sincerely.

Fact is you probably never look twice to another therapy, you trusted the system to heal you and lucky (yes percentage-wise you are extremely lucky) for you it worked for you. But I don't know ANYBODY that survive twice a cancer (for the obvious reason that you killed your imune system for good). In my case, I will/would avoid at all cost chemo+radiation until no other more natural treatment work for me before to feed the greedy beast that govern our health system.

You have no idea what you are talking about. Remind me of the success rate for treatment of testicular cancer and what is used to achieve it.

SHar82 was offering his advice based on something he had witnessed, no one has the right to shut him down.

If his "advice" has the potential to harm others, yes we do. You may as well take piloting lessons from someone whose "experience" was seeing a plane crash at an airshow.

My other half is a cancer survivor, Radio/chemo and surgical therapies, while your immune system can be compromised by any radical treatment, it dosn't relieve you it totally. We are a two Paramedic household and trust me the one who went through all this copes better than me with coughs colds etc. and is a damn site better Para than me :-)

Destructis, your clearly bearing a heavy load, share away, SimHQers are a really supportive bunch as you know and if I dare speak collectively We're rootin for you mate !
Nick

General chemo is slowly but surely being replaced by better treatments targeting very specific body areas and tailored to an individuals genetic makeup.