The other part where they don't want to be like iRacing is in the patching of bugs with their games, they do one patch and move on to the next title even when the one patch breaks stuff like wet weather driving did in F1-2010.

Whilst I enjoy Dirt2, F1-2010 was the last Codies title I will buy before the bargain bin due to their poor developement priorities and support.

Maybe they could learn a thing or two from iRacing besides the hardcore realism...

I think they do want to make it more realistic, because I believe that would make the cars feel better (and easier?) to drive, the feeling in rF is 200% better than F1 2011. But the problem is, they don't actually have the talent to develop that sort of engine, hence the we never tried to make it fully realistic. Remember, they have aids too, so that would make it easy for gamepad users anyway.

As Lugnut said, I don't mind what kind of game they put out as long as they're honest about it, and they definitely have NOT been honest about it, not at all.

They don't need to try to be iracing to put out a very good game. A game can also be realistic without going to the extremes some other game might.
IMO, iracing is more of a racing career simulator than straight up racing sim. It might have the best physics built in, but it's hardly the end-all be-all of sim racing due to it's extreme limitations. And cost, of course.
CM can keep doing what they're doing as far as I'm concerned, but I'd love to see another Grid rather than more Dirt. The F1 games will take time to dial in, I'm glad they're staying with it. Not like anyone else was doing anything worth a crap with it. Being the most popular form of racing in the world, they certainly have a large crowd to please. I'd say it's coming along ok for only having 2 games out so far.

I would like to see a NASCAR racer in the same quality as GRID with 36 cars in Multiplayer, I won't pay what iracing is charging but I would still like a PC racing sim for multiplayer that is as good as Dirt but for Ovals and Stock cars.

rFactor has that covered at the moment (IMO).

I run in a Monday night league that uses the VHR mod, but some guys within the league have done a TON of work improving it to get rid of the issues that the modmaker couldn't (or wouldn't).

The racing is very, very good.