The Amish have secret powers. Its a well established fact in 'In the know circles' that the Mennonites are actually Extraterrestrial in origin and hail from Alpha Centauri. They have been using anti-grav and warp drive tech in their 'star buggies' and sailed upon the Solar Winds for Millennia, of course concealing this from the Hoo-manz with their cunning horse ruse. Their beards are actually living, powerful symbiotes which enslave the host (in this case the Pennsylvanian Dutch), and typically make the hosts wear bizarre clothes and do silly things for their own amusement; but of course the hosts vary from planet to planet. Like them aliens in "Stargate", from off the telly.
The bloke with the crazy hair from "Ancient Aliens" told me, (
he knows everything) and I for one welcome our new Amish Overlords, from Beyond the Stars.
