LOL @ Drakonian.
Okay, okay... I get it.
I'll go back over the settings tonight and turn it down a notch.
On an extremely positive note, the CO of the "squadron in question" from before did end up getting back to me. He apologized for the delay, using "being deployed in afghanistan" as an excuse.

Kidding of course- I was amazed that he bothered responding but it's evidence of how seriously they take their squadron's affairs. The fact that he would still send me an email regarding such things was certainly a credit to him and the squadron. He will be forwarding the complaint to the XO and we'll take it from there. For me at this point it's more a matter of giving them a chance to preserve the reputation of the squadron... we've dealt with it our way and they can now deal with it their way.
I will tone things down slightly-
And Crew- I think there is a setting for human vs AI friendlies... quite a few settings so I'll try and get it to the point you're getting at.
I do think, however, that you should be warning people in the briefing material that TK and friendly AI kills are penalized and could result in kicks or bans... so to take the friendly fire seriously. If there is doubt... we should ALL be taking another look.