I'm not going to tell you. You'll just have to break in and find out what awaits you.

Glock 17

Is it chocolate?

lol

Brits have to make it through my curry-baited mantrap before they even get to the chocolate trap I built for the ladies...They never make it that far.

As the saying goes "your home is your castle". So, as anyone knows, if the castle walls are breached
the castle will most certainly fall.

True safety comes by assuring that your home is not easily intruded upon.

If the assailant has already entered the house, then you have already failed, gun or no gun.

In fact if in not mistaken when someone reports a break in the police advises to lock themselves in a room
and wait for the officers to arrive.

Fortunately, we're out of town at the time so my guns just get stolen too.
Even if I'm there, I probably wouldn't get the locks off in time. I'm much more paranoid about kids getting hold of the guns and doing something kid-like than I am about break ins.

A Beretta 92fs... but its my only functional gun and it is on my nightstand so it kind of makes it a no brainer for the question.

That my be your best bet if you are unable/unwilling to defend your property, but the police can't stop anything. They can only clean up the mess.

If I'm waiting for the coroner to bring the rubber sleeping bags for my eternal slumber party, I'm at least bringing some guests.