Flying is another story...I'm pretty bad. Still trying to get all my buttons and controls sorted out to my liking and learning how to not fry engines or crash...but that's half the fun.
Don't give up, you'll get there. I have recently gone through this myself - I was thinking about this the other day and there are a few distinct steps to going full real (not just for you since I suspect you are more advanced already):
1. Learning complex engine management. Simply taking off in some of these planes is an achievement in itself. In terms of increasing difficulty I would go: 109 < Hurri < Spit < HE-111 < Blenheim. I don't have enough experience in the others to judge where they would fit. Always use the Hurri Rotol instead of DH variant and Spit 1a or IIa (if available) instead of the 1 due to propeller modelling.
2. Efficient flight. Taking off is good, learning how to go fast and climb quickly is better. This is almost always down to trimming and prop pitch. Here is where the red side is easier since you can trim both elevator and rudder in the Hurri and spit vs. only elevator in the 109. Learn what the slipball is and how to adjust it. This is why some pilots often complain that 'x plane shouldn't be able to outclimb y' when actually it is often their own incompetence.
3. Bomber attacks. These are great training targets. By focusing on bombers for a little while you will get to the point where complex engine management is mostly autopilot (in your mind, that is) and you can concentrate on the opponent. You will gradually think less about the prop pitch/throttle/rudder/ailerons/elevator/trim/radiators and more about the target. Eventually all you need is the sound of the engine and an occasional glance at the slip ball to fly efficiently. Everything else is focused on the target.
4. Finding fighters. This is probably the hardest part since finding targets is so difficult without icons. Don't despair, though! There are a few tips:
a. Make sure your resolution is appropriate for your screen size. Unfortunately, the higher the resolution the smaller the dot so on a 23" screen I find it very difficult on 1920x1080. I had to go down to 1600x900 before I could spot targets well enough. I now have a 27" monitor and 1920 is fine.
b. Stay over friendly territory so that flak = enemy. Learn the different flak types: black is slow and means 'in this general area', white is fast and means 'right about here'. Fly low toward black flack clusters (on ATAG this is often Manston/Ramsgate and Hawkinge/Lympne) and look for the target.
c. Start out lower or at least at the same height as the flak. It is much easier to spot targets above you than below you. This is not a good strategy for actually engaging the enemy since you want superior energy but it is important to know what your target looks like.
d. When you are proficient at spotting targets amid flak you should go high and look for flak. You can then try spotting from above. This is difficult but ultimately where you want to reach.
5. Unless you happen to engage another noob you should initially just expect to die. Quick tips: if you are in a 109 do not turn with a red fighter. If you are in a red fighter do not engage a 109 with superior energy. If you have no choice then turn hard to evade and hope he follows you rather than extends and climbs again for another zoom attack.
6. Know your enemy's weaknesses. Spend time on the other side so you know what the strengths and weaknesses of common opponents are. This is really important. I didn't realise how weak a turning 109 was until I got to know it, nor did I realise how powerful it was in a boom and zoom attack until I did it.
Eventually you will reach the point where you can start to 'play' an opponent. If you are red you can pull a 109 down until he has lost all his energy and started to turn with you. If you are blue you can engage multiple red pilots as long as they have less energy and still come away on top. By now you will not really be thinking about engine management too much and will be able to focus entirely on situational awareness and landing shots on him.