All right car guys, let's hear it. You know you've seen them, abominations that never should have been created, hacked together by someone with a deviant mind.

For example, my father, back in the early seventies, bought a '67 Corvette roadster that was lightly hit in the front but still driveable. He picked it up very cheap. Why? Because in addition to the light, easily repairable damage, someone had removed the original 327 cubic inch motor and replaced it with a 283 with a two barrel carb.

Now, it's a mortal sin to do an engine swap on a car like that in the first place. I hate it when the numbers don't match on something like that. But a 283 with a two barrel? What the hell? Did the Arab Oil Embargo of those days put The Fear in them or something? Why would you do that?

Another one that sticks in my mind was a few years ago. I was riding down a country road with Mrs. Sauron at the wheel as usual, and doing what I normally do since they medically revoked my license, sightseeing. We were just passing a mobile home sitting on a piece of land cut out of some very good pasture that surrounded it when I saw it.

Someone had taken a Triumph Spitfire, yes, the small, two-seat British sports car, and put it on a monster truck chassis. And I mean MONSTER TRUCK! It was like a Spitfire sitting atop the chassis from Bigfoot or Gravedigger! It looked tiny and scared up there. And you needed a damn step-ladder to get in, I'm sure.

What gets into your head that makes you look at a nice little British sports car and think, "Ya know, that there would look better if it had four wheel drive, a lift kit, and some monster mud tires!"

So, there's a couple of examples. Let the parade of horrors begin!

Cheers!

Rick...

This sounds like fun.

First is E.J. Potter and his drag bikes called the Bloody Mary series. What made them so unusual was, ole EJ, nicknamed the Michigan Madman, put a transverse mounted 327 Chevy engine on the bike. A drag event I went to in South Florida back in the 1970s had him as one of the headliners. It rained the entire weekend, but EJ always being the showman, still got out and ran the Bloody Mary through the rain puddles in a windy storm, and tripped the lights at 120 mph, after shutting off at the 1000 foot mark because he almost lost control.

Other one was a guy I knew in high school who built a tube frame for a VW bug and put a 392 Chrysler engine in the back end of it. It didn't run, it hopped. If he didn't drag the clutch, it would tend to flip over backwards. He did that twice, relacing the bodywork the first time, and leaving it dented in after the second rollover. He went through numerous clutches then decided to park it, and finally yanked the engine out, sold it and made a "dune buggy" out of the VW.

Hellaflush: wheels with a lot of offset, tires stretched as tight as possible, and huge negative camber to have the wheels be flush with the fenders. Every time I see a picture like this a little part of me dies inside, and I want to throttle the owner who would do that to such a fine piece of automotive engineering.

http://www.google.com/imgres?hl=en&s...=1t:429,r:3,s:0

I had a VW bug with the front smashed in. No headlights, just the worse thing you ever saw, but I drove it (during the day). I figured it was better to drive 10 minutes than to walk 3 hours or take a 2 hour bus ride.

One that was pretty cool was a guy I know in CA, registered his VW bug at his parents house here. All CA illegal parts on the Porsche motor. It could take a Corvette off the line, but ultimately couldn't compete at higher speeds. It was scary fast because as you got close to top speed the front end would literally float.

Some guys on my car forum spotted this monstrosity -



We all pitched in a few dollars and bought the thing, and here it is on a trailer ...









And like the sign says on the side, we are going to blow it up.
Fingers crossed that'll happen within a month or so. I'll post vids of it happening here.

Hey Billzilla,I thought you were going to blow that POS up some while back? What happened?

Still waiting for people to come good on their promises.

I always got a kick from watching what was almost definitely a highschool kid in an older used Toyota that had one modification on it with the promise of future mods to eventually make it into a "Fast-and-Furious" type machine. Except month after month I see this same car with only a hood scoop and nothing else different from stock. Either that or a muffler kit which the rip-off artist at Chico's garage promised would increase the horsepower, and by horsepower he meant the noise level. Then top it all off with gangsta rap and two white boys in sideways baseball caps who know every lyric. THAT is the modern redneck. I kid you not.

Anyone who paints their car, themselves, a MATTE color, apparently using spray cans from Walmart, has created an atrocity.



The Jedi Master

A '66 Jag E type with a chevy 350 in it......the guy who did that should be shot with a ball of his own sh!t