To wrap up what I wrote about above -
Had to talk to four EA customer service reps over two days before both copies worked.
After I wrote the above, the second copy still did not work to connect to other servers or coop. The first rep I talked to said I had some messed up 'entitlements' in both installs and she made enough changes such that I could get beyond Origin and open BF3 in my install #2. The next two support guys did not have a clue what to do - "Umm, disconnect your computer from the internet and reboot." "You need Google Chrome." "Open UDP Port 17." Finally I talked to a guy and read him the error and he fixed it right away.
After we got both copies working, I showed my bro-in-law your tactical guide, Magnum, and we read through it together. Lot's of good points in there, like -
"...the point is to work as a team and use some basic tactics when playing, and always play the objectives."
So when is the next BF3 session on SimHQ?

WC