JRT,

That just adds to my regret that Mig Alley was one sim I never got round to. Maybe I will give it a try before my next PC upgrade.

Gents,

JRT,

Congratulation! As HWH Squadron commander you were given the best available stop-gap aircraft until our first-line replacement Spits arrive. This sturdy Be2c craft is yours for the time being so please take care because the museum staff want it back in one piece and not kit form. I was going to recommend that Olga be your Observer but that would put the CofG too far back. Maybe C51 will volunteer?




Secondly, Jens will be delighted with this Avro triplane which was only made serviceable after the engineers cornered the market in piano wire. The vicar is wondering where the wheels of his bicycle went to.





Finally, my mount is the mighty Pou-du-Ciel Flying Flea which was one of the first kit-build aircraft. The French translation means Louse of the Sky, but I can live with that.
Although it proved to be inherently unstable, and by some, deemed a death-trap, remarkably few crashed. Probably because remarkably few actually became airborne.
Still, this is only a small risk compared to the many we take on a daily basis. Also, in addition to facing Olga, we have to confront the Luftwaffe.

Folks,

Dux:

Lovely kites. Perhaps with respect to the deadly instability issue there were so few fatalities because somehow in spite of the best wishes of the manufacturer the word got out.....

If I had ROF I could experience flying those. Compared to the graphics in ROF old FCG looks like a cartoon. Still it is all I have and I've grown fond of it. C51 tells me he has purchased MA for less than $10 and it is expected that he will soon be joining me, Robin Olds, McConnel, Gabraski and a few others in the troubled skies of MiG Alley.

Take your pick Dux I recommend one of these to replace the big blank spot over the main page. I'm surprised that the finicky, eagle-eyed MG has allowed this ugly travesty to go on for so long without shouting something that at least sounds somewhat vulgar in Danish at someone.

If you would rather not provide a photo Dux then I have a lovely shot of Lindsey Lohan's naked ass showing an "As Seen on TV" logo tattooed there. No, it isn't real...well I don't think it is real.

JRT,

Thanks! There is a plan available for the Be2c in quite a large scale. Such a beautifully preserved museum piece makes one want to have a go. There is plenty of detail to refer to in that pic.

Why, we're ever so grateful and in constant awe of the fine minds at GHQ, finding these flims..., er fine aeorplanes for the squadron. We will make certain to use them to drop the mess garbage on the enemy when he invades, if the enemy is no taller than about 5 foot because that seems to be the ceiling attainable by these "new" excus..., contrap... er kites.

I had hoped for an SE, but nevermind, one must be grateful for what one can get.

Rest assured Roger, that the big blank spot on the top of the page has been reported through proper channels.

Folks,

MG:

I never doubted you for a moment. After several weeks, it may have been just days or months...what I doubted, if anything, was that in a busy, busy day of providing the finest quality forum in the whole world there could be time found to fix that empty space unless we at least mentioned it. Confidentially, as I believe the event is now over I was hoping for a nice Spitfire or Hurricane as a replacement. Maybe some beautiful nose art (there's plenty of room on Dux's nose if not).

No? Then perhaps that incriminating photo our LeRoy took of Dux and Olga standing under the mistletoe at last year's squadron Christmas party would be appreciated by those who missed that rare spectacle due to various reasons? Perhaps the photo of C51 opening that parcel from Goering that was dropped on the field by a 109 pilot might be interesting? To his astonishment inside was the Iron Cross first class bestowed upon him for writing off a 10th Spitfire.

I would not oppose displaying the photo of you leading the Royal Denmark Fighter Squadron Display Team in a holiday command performance of Swan Lake at the tender age of 16. All agree that the pink Tu-Tu becomes you. I would however protest vehemently and in all humility oppose any photo of me; especially that candid photo of a rather private moment showing me attempting to inflate that life-size doll SNAFU left behind folded in his locker. The scoundrel who took that photo is only slightly less to be despised than the cad who put the doll's filling tube in that..er...that rather indelicate location.

Stand by chaps for the imminent, long overdue but definitely un-awaited conclusion of "Olga Goes Ape".

Chaps,

A conclusion to OGA? Really! I can't miss that. I am all ears, and my conk is quite noticeable too. Plenty of room for that nose-art JRT, never fear!

Both my CD and DVD-RW players are not working. Neither do they show up on START - MY COMPUTER either. Maybe I deleted some imported file by mistake. Perhaps I can download XP from Windows website and re-install using my licence number of course? Bit of a drag as we used to say in the sixties...

Folks,

Don't say I never warned you this was coming:

Olga Goes Ape Chapter 6

At first Dux was not even aware of being lifted up. There was a slight sensation from his dangling...er... extremities but so deep was his half-unconsciousness that he disregarded it. Then for a time he did not feel any sensation at all. His mind was floating softly away.

It had all been too much for him to bear. He had seen men fall to earth in flames; heard their pitiful cries of anguish and pain remaining almost unmoved because they were all too common. He had pressed a button and sent men to their doom without batting an eye. They were the enemy. They deserved to die. Yet, helpless to move, one look into that huge hairy face had been more than his mind and nerves could accept.

Holding the unconscious man cradled in her massive arms as if he were a large dolly, the love sick Gargantua began to poke at the man to see why he was not responding to her romantic overtures. After a particularly hard poke Dux woke with an expletive so vile even C51 would have blushed. The great ape paid it no mind. She was happy that her lover was now reactivated.

Who knows what goes on in the mind of a female ape when her considerable sexual appetite has been aroused? Whatever it was Dux was the center of her attention at the moment. Seeing him twitch and open his eyes she held him in one great hand and began to caress him with the other. Dux began to struggle, kick and bite and this the ape took to be his attempt at foreplay.

She happily joined in by banging him against the bars of the door and then bouncing him on the floor several times. Sadly she noted that Dux had ceased to be animated once again. Dux was hurt, his ears were ringing so he was nearly deaf but he was really only playing possum. It was his only defense and Gargantua was not amused.

Seeing there was a problem; nurse Anita Goodman motioned to one of the muscular attendants to stand by the cage with his Zappit 2000 multi-function cattle prod and dildo as she picked up the intercom phone to hastily summon the good Doctor Mangle. Within minutes the doctor arrived in the operating theater and was greeted with a rousing shout of "Heil Doctor". With a guttural shout he immediately took over the experiment.

Glaring at Goodman who averted his/her eyes, he shouted for her to have Gargantua restrained until the apparatus was attached and ready. The apparatus....Dux heard that. What apparatus? His head began to clear a bit. God's teeth, what was he in for now? Without thinking, he began to squirm and that just caused the hopeful ape to start more foreplay. He fell limp once more. Let me rephrase that, he passed out.

In one corner of the operating theater, over by the steaming autoclave, the doctor was giving instructions to Goodman who was holding a rather fiendish looking rubber, metallic and glass device that was still warm to the touch.

The somewhat phallic looking thing consisted of a foot long tube 3"inches in diameter with a knob-like rubber stopper at one end and a rather smaller rubber sphincter with a metallic looking ring of teeth at the other. There was a small glass and rubber receptacle connected to the tube at the bottom. Surrounding the whole apparatus were multi-colored wires two of the wires led to an equal number of diabolical looking electrodes. The other wires merely wrapped around the cylinder perhaps to provide some warming.

Shaking his/her head in understanding nurse Goodman turned and began walking toward the cage. She almost tripped over a long electrical cord trailing from the device. The burly attendants were now forcing the enraged Gargantua to the back of the cage and away from the prostrate Dux. Had it not been for those powerful cattle prods they never could have intimidated the angry beast. The Zappit 2000 was a particularly effective if inhumane means of pacifying the various experimental animals in the outer laboratory when the batteries were at full charge. At the first familiar sound of the zapping all the animals began to scream in fear. The noise was particularly savage tonight.

Not far distant the sound of all those frightened animals screaming in fear came to Olga's attention and she rose from her crouch instantly on the alert. Having been chased many times by hounds in her youth she was particularly sensitive to dog's frightened voices. How many times had she heard those screams as she squeezed the life out of one bloodhound after another leaving them for their Czarist masters to find. Finally her pursuers either had run out of dogs or they had lost interest in further humiliation. Olga glanced at the man across from her. So he was a SMERSH man, eh? Looking for her perhaps? She had no time to find out. The sounds of those animals she realized meant Dux's time must be running out. She sprang into action.

Back inside the operating theater the attendants had their hands full keeping the great ape at bay while nurse Anita Goodman struggled with the comatose Dux. She was just about ready to clamp on that fiendish looking device when a blood curdling scream from one of the embattled attendants rang out. The battery of his Zappit 2000 had lost it's charge.

Shortly the same thing happened to all the prods. Goodman remembered she had bought surplus batteries by mail order from a young pilot with the somewhat cryptic name of C51. They must have been faulty. It was the next to last thing to pass through her mind. The last thing that passed through her mind was the hefty, broken shaft of a defunct Zappit 2000. She fell across the almost lifeless Dux stone dead.

Free of pain Gargantua was having her wicked way with her helpless keepers. Sadly for her none of them lasted very long. She reached for Dux, grasped him tenderly and lifted him from under Goodman. Cradling him in one arm she was out the open cage door remarkably fast for such a huge beast. Doctor Mangle and his staff were caught by surprise and began to flee in terror toward the single exit.

Test tubes crashed, tables turned over and lab utensils fell. Chemicals never meant to be combined sloshed about and combined. A fire began from a Bunsen burner that was already spreading quickly. As they fled the odor from the blaze was incredibly caustic but it went unnoticed by them for the avenging ape though terrified of fire was almost among them. The last to arrive at the swinging doors was Mangle. He felt the giant ape breathing down his neck. The Walther automatic was out of his lab coat pocket in an instant. He turned to fire.

Back in the forest Olga was on top of the man in an instant ripping off his clothes and making loud grunting noises. Poor Peter was knocked to the ground and smothered in horrid smelling kisses. Not since rutting mastodons roamed the area converging there to mate had such incredibly animalistic sounds of painful pleasure been heard. Giving in to immediate temptation Olga had apparently forgotten all about saving Dux.

Turning to face his fate, Mangle had one second left to live. There wasn't time enough to bring his pistol up to fire before a hairy hand grasped his head and squeezed...hard. It popped like a grape. The enraged but mightily pleased Gargantua flung the body from her in disgust. She burst through the swinging doors with Dux under her arm.

The doors banged shut behind them. No human was in the corridor. They had all escaped. Before leaping through an open window the great ape smashed every cage lined up against the laboratory wall thus allowing every one of the test animals to limp, crawl, run, hop or slither away to possible freedom. The window shattered with a crash and Gargantua was free. The night had grown cold and the fresh air revived Dux. He had missed Goodman's death. He had missed the fire and the whole battle. He had also missed the opportunity to grab his discarded clothes.

The moon had set and clouds had moved in to blot out the stars. It was really dark. Into the edge of the nearby forest ran the huge ape. As if pursued, she quickly sprang into the nearest tree. It shook from roots to tip and was greatly bent from all the weight. There was a shower of leaves as it straightened again with a snap when Gargantua sprang to a larger tree.

On she went higher and higher from branch to branch from tree to tree into the black forest pausing only for a moment in the darkness to listen to some amazing grunting sounds coming from no more than a hundred yards away on the forest floor. Satisfied it was only two buffaloes mating she went on once more with Dux still held tightly under her arm. She was free , happy and deep down inside her she felt those carnal urges beginning to be aroused once more. She clutched Dux a little tighter. He made no sound of protest.

Had Dux not been struck in the head by a passing branch and lost consciousness again he might have been elated that he was free of his original captors but he might also have feared the worse for his future. As he was being carried from branch to branch of those beautiful old growth trees, mercifully, he had no inkling that he had now so courageously set out upon a great adventure that was his honeymoon. But hat as they say is another story.

Folks,

Dux:

Try right clicking your "my computer" then go to 'manage' then go to 'disk management'. if you see it in there then does it have a drive letter? if not right click and assign a drive letter to it.

Try a Google search. Unless you have picked up a nasty virus it may be easily fixed.

Folks,

Halloween is not far off and as I have just finished a few stories rather than bore you with another may I direct you to one of my favorite poems that to me at least is appropriate at this time of the year. It is a narration of the dark poem "The Highwayman". Listen to it through. I like it and I know Dux will. It is right up his amm cobblestoned street.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4Y8EKw5DaE&feature=related