I don`t know if you guys over the pond buy and wear wrist bands in support of your soldiers fighting overseas.We in the UK can purchase different colour bands for different Regiments.
Anyway, my mate just sent me a copy of 2 e-mails he sent to the Ministry of Defence regarding the size of the wristbands.
Enjoy.......

Since chubby has been wearing a Coldstream wristband his fingers have started to turn blue, so he has sent the Guards this email ;D
What a star.

oh the joys of beer...

i sent them this mail...


Dear Sir/madam,

I sent my £5.00 to support the cause, now that was a 5 Quid note had the Queens head (long live the queen) on it and everything.

I even sent an envelope with a stamp on it in gold this again had a picture of the Queen(long live the Queen) now I asked for a lardy butt adult size band.

Now one of your lot, I shall mention no names he is at this moment in the Afghanistan went out on on the 4th had a close call already. Sent my lad a kids band, he is 8 going on 3 but that is not the point by the way my girl is 10 going on 18 what do I do with her, oh wrong forum..getting back on track the lads band is not much smaller than mine. I had to take my band off as my already fat fingers got fatter and I could not Reach the bottom of my chip packet!

Would it be possible to maybe, do some bands that the Bigger blokes could wear.?

The band had its use while the wife was at work as I could not feel my right hand...

I was at trooping of the colour not this year but last year and I spoke to my mates boy’s (who is in the Stan now) boss bloke whatever you wanna call him, and oh my god that dude scares the dark!! I think he eats raw steak!! ( can I ask, does he strangle pigs with his bare hands for fun?) all I did was show him a pic of my mates boy and he gave me 10 push ups. How about getting hold of him and taking a wrist measurement then divide it by half and the fat blokes like me won’t have blue fingers...

By the way I got the band very quick, thanks!

There are 2 options I go on a diet or you lot do a bigger band. And ill beef hooked if I am gonna eat salad..Should I take this grievance up with Gordon Brown?

All joking aside ( I still want a bigger band) hope the appeal goes well, and no more lads come home via Wootton Bassett. (WO2 Sean Upton was a friend) The boys and girls are doing a Fantastic job, very brave and I love them all, not in a you Know Elton john way but in a man’s man way. Don’t tell beef head boss bloke he might get angry and stuff and start shouting at me and make me cry!

Over and out (is that correct army lingo)

Lardy boy....


Part 2 was sent yesterday........


He's only been and done it again.
To the Rifles this time. ;D


ow this one is special...

this is gonna have to be sent to bletchley park for deciphering

hey hey hey beer gotta love it

Dear sir/madam,

While I received my bands in a very timely fashion, but I have one or two complaints.

Yes the website is very sexy, easy to understand and professional.

But cut some cost here please I didn’t want 2 little bags 2 little cards with 2 bands or a great big receipt( ok I understand the need for a receipt)
1 envelope and my 2 bands would have done.

I wanted the money to go to the guys and girls shooting the baddies, not plastic and paper ( my gramps was in 1st bat rifles cleared out a machine gun nest in WW2 he didn’t know it but the job got one)
Name: ARMSTRONG, JOHN VICTOR
Initials: J V
Nationality: United Kingdom
Rank: Rifleman
Regiment/Service: Rifle Brigade
Unit Text: 1st Bn.
Age: 24
Date of Death: 03/09/1944
Service No: 6970024
Now my point of this email IS I ordered a band from the coldstream guards too.
Oh I have complained to them don’t you worry. Their band was too tight..(adult one) yours as Goldie locks would say, was just right, for a day or two now it’s all gone loose and I am a lardy butt . I ordered this band as A mates lad, I say lad, I mean man, he looks just like his dad, any way, is in the Coldstream Guards and his, my mates bro in law, (my mates boy/man’s’s uncle is in the 1st bat rifles). Not that this has anything to do with it. God I am confused!

What I wanted to moan about was your band has gone all big. The Coldstream one is still as tight as a nuns chufty
Now I have met my mates boy/man’s troop leader(big mofo at trooping of the colour 2008) so I isn’t gonna pick a fight with him innit! so one of your lot will have to do as long as he is a veggie and under 6 stone. I mean it! But going by the size of wrist band I think the guy you got a measurement off must of missed evolution by about 6 million years. So I don’t want to fight him to be honest scrub that.
If you know where this email is heading please can you pass it on to the relevant departments(not the meat head you took measurements off)

Ps good job good luck with the fund raising.

Lardy boy


That came straight from his heart !!

Sent to Bletchley Park for deciphering..lol!