Hints on how to do it?
First this: IT IS A LOT EASIER IN REAL LIFE.
The first thing to do is stabilize behind whatever is the tanker. Once you are going the same speed in the same space, you can make very small movements that result in a "trend" rather than a hard movement. Pumping the stick will get you nothing...or a collision.
Once in formation, make yourself relax. I like to padlock my view on the tanker whenever possible. Then whatever movement you feel you must make, immediately take away half of it. If you advance the throttle, take half away. I don't know how it works, it just does...in real life and in real YAP.