(Mechanic comes in to the waiting room as you are watching the Maury Povich show) "Well, sir, I think we tracked down your problem sir. Seems your plane is a big flaming wreck in the middle of a field. We're going to do an oil change and then send you on your way, I just came in here to show you the condition of your air filter. Now we can replace that for $19.95. And, of course, on a big flaming total loss like this, we also recommend a transmission flush, which I can get you the manager's special at just $149.95. So if you can just sign here, we'll get started. Oh, and the coffee should be out shortly. Sorry, all we have is decaf..."