Hedgehog. I have finally taken the plunge into MP.
I am by no means a good RoF pilot playing with most "cheats" in SP. However in just a few games with Full Realism MP I know I am getting better with every flight.
Sure I get shot down more often the not but I've also held my own on more than one occasion. I had a great scrap against 4 or 5 Albatros scouts. The fight lasted about 5 minutes before my demise. It was the best 5 minutes of MP I think I have experienced in many years of gaming.
I have enjoyed joining up with a random team mate and flying their wing as best I can.
I have yet to experience this getting "mercilessly hammered and shot down 100 times" that you talk about.
Mate, take the plunge, you just might enjoy it